Frequently Asked Questions

 

What is Boundary in a Box®?

What are Boundary Adventures & Why should I play

What is the point of these games (Boundary Adventures)?

How are these games (Boundary Adventures) fun?

What do you mean by Play?

What will happen when I play these games (Boundary Adventures)?

How do I play Boundary Adventures?

How do I use the cords & Why are there two?

Why is body awareness important?

What do you mean by UniqueYou & HomeBase?

What is a BodyMind Boundary?

How do the forces of Contact influence my life?

What is Emotional Freedom?

What happens when I lose my sense of Self?

 

 

What is Boundary in a Box®?    

     

      Boundary in a Box® is a self-health game system designed to support personal growth. The system is presented as a series of meditative-type games (Boundary Adventures) that encourage self-regulation, healing of old patterns, and emotional freedom from your fears about relationship.

      Boundary in a Box® games (Boundary Adventures) guide you to establish a body awareness of your unique sense of self and personal space. You rehearse options and discover how to maintain a supportive body experience when facing difficult situations, with challenging people, and even during overwhelming emotions.

      The Boundary in a Box® system combines imaginative play with common body-mind healing practices and simple somatic (body) psychotherapies. This potent combination (BodyMind Play) helps you establish a sensory experience of a healthy emotional boundary (bodymind boundary). You will be empowered to make wiser choices in relationship with yourself, as well as with others.

      Boundary in a Box® BodyMind Play has a direct and potentially profound effect upon your brain, your tension, and your ability to manage anxiety.

 

 

What are Boundary Adventures & Why Should I Play?

      Boundary Adventures are the games in any Boundary in a Box® product. Boundary Adventures are guided meditative experiences that help you develop a body awareness of your unique sense of Self.

      Boundary Adventures teach you BodyMind Play, a self-reflective, body-mind self-health practice. You will retrain the nervous system in order to better manage anxiety. BodyMind Play helps you self-regulate your feelings, cultivate body sensations of self-support, change old habit patterns into healthier ways of being, and refine contact with yourself and others.

 

  What is the point of these games (Boundary Adventures)?

The Goal of Boundary Adventures is for each player to gain Emotional Freedom from the influence of overwhelming emotions and/or lingering anxiety.

      Boundary Adventures actively encourage BodyMind Play, a combination of imaginative and experiential play, body-mind healing practices, and somatic psychology methods.  BodyMind Play assists you to self-regulate your emotional responses and supports you to re-shape your relationship with yourself and others.

      Boundary Adventures are deliberately simple.  When you are laying down new, subtly complex patterns in your body-mind, the process takes practice and simplicity has enormous power. Yet, the intention of each game is that you play with all sensory learning styles: sight, hearing, touch, voice, scent, imagination. The simplicity of this creative play allows you to communicate healthy patterns and optimal ways of being directly to your body, brain, and nervous system.

      Boundary Adventures direct you to detect subtle features of perception that inform you about your sense of Self. You discover what is truly enlivening, important, and meaningful for you. You’ll be encouraged to build self-recognition based upon the sensory experience of your fundamental sense of Self, UniqueYou. Boundary Adventures cultivate your sensations of “This is Me, Alive.”

      Boundary Adventures teach you BodyMind Play so you can fill yourself up from the inside with the kinds of support you have always wanted but never recieved enough of because of others limitations.

      Boundary Adventures guide you through the nuances of BodyMind Play as you learn to manage unwanted emotional impulses and non-serving patterns of behavior. You cultivate essential skills necessary to modulate powerful emotions, even those that come up in your life now but are based on childhood injuries around contact.

      Boundary Adventures help teach you to notice the moment-to-moment experiences of separation and inundation. As you become familiar with the dynamics of these discrete body sensations, you will also practice guiding the sensations and impulses in supportive ways.

    

How are these games (Boundary Adventures) fun?   

     

      Boundary Adventures turn your journey of personal growth into an experimental and experiential playtime. They are fun because they take you into old and new inner territories and help you explore them in different and creative ways.

      Much of the fun in Boundary Adventures involves an artful expression of yourself. You, the artist of your life, create an imaginative and full representation of your most potent way-of-being. As an artist expressing rich possibilities, you want to reach inside and find what is soulful for you .

      Your game board is your cord boundary. This will become a stage upon which you re-pattern old behaviors, like a theatrical rehearsal or a private improvisational performance. Playing Boundary Adventures with your game board (cord boundary) your personal drama can be acted out within a profoundly safe space. Here, your imagination will establish possibilities for uniquely empowered ways-of-being.

      Boundary Adventures guide you to fashion a web of support using BodyMind Play. During your adventures, you will learn to manage your longings and find release from your fears. You will soon discover yourself free to become like a meddling time traveler : observing, revisiting, and ultimately re-forming the impact your personal history has upon your life today.


 

What do you mean by Play?     

      Boundary Adventures are High Play. You’ll use your imagination and curiosity to experiment, explore and try on a variety of alternative strategies to change habit patterns that no longer serve you. With this intention, you’ll play with the relationship between the sensations in your body, your life-energy, and your emotions.Imaginative play encourages neuro-plasticity, the ability of your body, your brain, and your nervous system to adapt to an infinite number of circumstances.

      Boundary Adventures combine imaginative play, common body-mind healing practices, and simple somatic psychology techniques (BodyMind Play) to stimulate your brain and central nervous system into effective and lasting personal change.

      Boundary Adventures guide you to self-regulate by playing freely with your emotions within a safe environment. You will improvise, re-enact, and affirm support for your feelings. You play games that experiment with your problems so you experience different outcomes. This gives you an opportunity to learn from your “mistakes,” and also to find different ways of looking at the matter so that you canfeel better about the situation.


 

What will happen when I play these games? 

       Boundary Adventures help you discover a body awareness of your sense of self and establish self-support tailored specifically to your needs. You will rehearse new solutions to old problems and change habitual patterns of response into different, healthier ways of being.

      Boundary Adventures provide opportunities for you to regulate your nervous system, modify your life-energy flow, to experiment with each sensory modality (sight, hearing, touch, voice, scent), and to change old habit patterns into new ways of being.

      Boundary Adventures are composed to give you a body experience of emotional freedom from your fears about contact (receiving too-much or too-little). Conflict over contact is the fundamental force behind disagreements in relationship.

     You learn essential BodyMind Play as you progress sequentially through the Boundary Adventures in BodyMind Boundaries for Beginners. BodyMind Play is effective for self-regulating your behavior and feelings when you encounter strong emotions, challenging situations, and difficult people. When you stop dwelling so much on anxiety, you will act in ways that reflect your personal truth. You’ll discover how to stay externally calm and internally resourceful as you skillfully manage life’s challenges.

     

 

How do I play Boundary Adventures?       

    

      You will receive some benefit from BodyMind Play if you simply read or listen to Boundary Adventures with a sensory rich imagination. Just the words help you embody, to some degree, the essence of this integrative healing method.

      BodyMind Play is a viable skill that helps you sustain well-being. To acquire mastery, you need to regard Boundary Adventures as a meditative discipline. Play Boundary Adventures regularly in a quiet, private, distraction-free place, large enough to lay down if necessary. Sit comfortably with lower back support, or on an appropriate cushion, one that you can sit upon with your knees lower than your hips.

      BodyMind Boundaries for Beginners teaches you the skills of BodyMind Play. Initially practice Boundary Adventures in sequential order, just as they are presented. Engage your curiosity, imagination, and sense of experimentation to keep the experience lively and relevant to your life.

      You will want to revisit some Boundary Adventures frequently, to reinforce support and new behaviors. Some games are particularly useful when you play them quickly during challenging times.

      Boundary Adventures last 30 seconds to 30 minutes. Timing depends upon how long you choose to spend with yourself, exploring and deepening your personal experience. The later games are more complex and may take longer than the early ones.


How do I use the cords, and Why are there two?

Your boundary cord is your Boundary Adventure game board. Place it on the floor surrounding you, a few feet from your body. With mindfulness your cord creates:

  • A special, private place to explore self-awareness 
  • A visual, tactile, & symbolic representation of your personal space
  • A stage upon which to act out all your emotional growth strategies
  • A multi-dimensional container to hold & nurture your sense of Self.
  • An outline of the shape, form, & size of your life-energy flow, your bodymind boundary
  • A sacred space to invoke your highest potential.
  • A place to honor the deeper experience of your sense of Self, UniqueYou.
  • A place to clarify and reinforce empowering intentions

 

The two cords in BodyMind Boundaries for Beginners give you options :

  • You may want a boundary larger or a thicker than a single seven yard cord. 
  • You may want an extra cord to play Boundary Adventures with a friend or partner.
  • You can build a second boundary space to separate from a real or an imaginary Other (situation, person, emotion, ideology, substance...).

 

Why is body awareness important?    

       Body awareness will enhance your sense of self and provide you with truthful information about how you feel in the moment. It can also increase your experience of self-support and strengthen emotional autonomy.  

      Your body communicates via sensation. All of your deeper emotions are founded upon gut reactions, heartfelt feelings, and experiences that originate in your body. All that is enlivening, and all that leads to illness, shows up in your body’s expressions of tension and relaxation.

      Your body holds lots of information about who you are. Many of the most formative experiences of your life occurred before you were able to talk. Etched in your flesh, in your posture, and in how you breathe is inscribed your sorrows and joys. Encoded in your nerve impulses are written your personal needs, habits, memories, and talents.

       With only your mind for guidance, your thoughts may become repetitive and self-defeating. They may revolve like an inner spiral, perpetuating anxiety. With no feed-back from your body, emotional choices can deteriorate into distorted and obsessive ways of living and believing.

When you learn to listen, your body will reveal the truth about your feelings. Your body does not lie.

      Your mind can mislead you. It only gives you half the story of how to deal with anxiety. It is tough to think clearly when you are feeling anxious and your body is tense or braced. 

      It is helpful to listen to the wisdom of your body for full disclosure about any experience. And your body is also a tremendous resource that can give vital support. Your body will reveal the truth of your central nervous system’s anxiety.

With body awareness it is possible to cultivate body sensations that support you in ways you are currently not supported or have not been supported in the past. This is a primary step when managing your anxiety-based responses in a skillful and healthy manner. (Boundary in a Box® Principles of Healing : coming soon)

 

What do you mean by UniqueYou & HomeBase?

    Every individual being that is alive has a unique life-energy. Your life-energy is an exclusive expression of You. Your own particular life-energy communicates individual qualities. These qualities are your most fundamental nature. They are your feelings and sensations of “This is me, Alive.” This is your most authentic Self, UniqueYou.

    UniqueYou is the elemental feeling of You-ness, the kernel of life that distinguishes feelings of You as distinct from everyone else. This sensory experience of aliveness begins as you take you first inhale (birth), and is You, alive in your body, until your last exhale (death).

    You can reap enormous personal benefits by building on the feelings of “This is me Alive.” A deep well of self-support lives here, particularly when you explore, deepen, and reinforce UniqueYou as a sensory experience.

    You create a securely bonded connection with your own unique nature when you tailor support specifically to meet your needs for connection and breathing room. Feel this tailored support as body-mind sensations and you uncover a reliable inner reference of wisdom to which you can return again and again. This sensory feedback is the catalyst for a home base of support that can become a dependable resource when you need help, when you feel alone, when you are overwhelmed, or when life is tough. A body experience of inner security is a powerful HomeBase of support.

    You can cultivate your HomeBase by repeatedly attuning to your unique sense of Self, UniqueYou, and anchoring it as a familiar feeling in your body.  Boundary Adventures guide you to make this body-mind experience a reliable inner-reference of sensation for your HomeBase of support.

    Most people locate HomeBase in their central torso. Your lower belly and pelvic basin are closer to the center of your body and to the ground. That core area is a strong and safe place to hold and nurture your sense of Self and all the good feelings that support your aliveness.

    Anchoring the good feelings of UniqueYou in your body secures HomeBase of support. This calms your nervous system because all the truths about your unique aliveness become a body experience of self-acceptance, well-being, and harmony.


What is a BodyMind Boundary?

      Boundaries are the distinctions you make between yourself and the world. They mark where you end and others begin. Boundaries help you define your sense of Self. This is useful knowledge when you are cultivating emotional freedom.

      A sensory awareness of your emotional boundary is a bodymind boundary . This is your most important technique for developing a body experience of self-support. It is vital for self-regulation, especially when dealing with feelings of too-much-contact and not-enough-contact.  

      A bodymind boundary  gives you the two primary requirements for building self-support:  a container in which to carry support and a protector to guard it from unwanted influences. A bodymind boundary  helps you feel safe, and more secure in your Self. This can bring clarity to the emotional details of relationship with yourself and others.

      This protective container of self-support is a felt-sense. You know it as sensations that reinforce fundamental truths like the right to exist, to act, to be innovative, and to be free in all your relationships. This provides a sense of security you can feel as a core body experience, usually located in your central torso. You can learn to tap into this core during times of ease and also during times of stress and conflict. Within your bodymind boundary you’ll find the emotional strength to skillfully deal with situations that trigger your anxiety.

      When your emotions are triggered, your bodymind boundary  will also help you self-regulate your impulsive responses. Not by becoming a barrier to contact, but more as a flexible, semi-permeable membrane protected by self-support. This stimulates an osmosis that lets you better sift and gauge the flow of information about your experience of relationship.

      Boundary permeability gives you choice and control over how much you want to allow into your space and how much you let out. To exercise this kind of control over the dynamics of contact, and have it be adaptable, requires self-support and practice in order to manage self-regulation.

      On a deeper level, a boundary can be more than a mental concept. It can represent your personal space and outline the parameters of who you are and how you feel.  Make it a bodymind boundary  and it becomes a celebration of aliveness, supported via sensation. This sensory experience enables you to distinguish your body, spirit, thoughts, and emotions from those of others. Your bodymind boundary is felt-container for your sense of Self.

      All body sensation is governed by the ebbs and flows of life-energy. To harness and direct this movement is a skill that can be learned. It is the core philosophy of most body-mind healing practices and body-oriented (somatic) psychotherapies. A bodymind boundary  helps you outline life-energy’s fluctuations, feel the textures of those changes as sensory experience, and learn to harness the power of life-energy’s ebbs and flows. 

 


 

Within your BodyMind Boundary

You’ll Find Support To :

 

Locate your sense of Self, UniqueYou.

Establish reliable self-support, HomeBase.

Define yourself, your needs, & your desires.

Trust your needs & feelings are well-founded.

Create a HomeBase of body sensation.

Learn to Enhance your feelings of aliveness.

Interpret Sensations as they relate to emotions.

Listen to your Body & evaluate your options.

Respond in ways that best serve emotional health.

Remain autonomous when in contact with Other.

Feel worthy of respect, even when challenged.

Receive without threat another’s Point-of-view. 

Stand by your personal truth, even when

pressured to feel what others want you to feel.

Develop honest & real intimacy in relationship.

Maintain dependable internal Self-Support.

Express needs for Breathing Room & Connection.

          Base decisions & actions on information independent,

but considerate of Others.

 

How do the forces of Contact influence my life?

           Boundary in a Box® self-health game system focuses on two basic forces of contact : the force towards togetherness (connection) and the force towards separation (breathing room). 

      The basic forces of contact, coonection and breathing room, influence how you establish and maintain emotional bonds.

       Everything alive has different needs for the forces of contact. Your relationship choices, emotions, and behaviors may be based upon fears that your needs for connection or breathing room will not be fulfilled.

        When your personal needs for connection and breathing room are not met, you may feel alone and want more connection. Or you may feel imposed upon and want more breathing room.  Regardless, when your needs for the forces of contact go unmet, it reduces the quality of your experience of contact with yourself and others.

 

What is Emotional Freedom?

     

      Emotional Freedom is a state-of-being where you are free from the pull of your emotions and attachments, as well as your aversions. You experience emotional freedom when your behaviors and responses to contact are not based upon your fears that your needs for connection and breathing room will not be met by Others.

     This emotional independence keeps anxiety from catching you like “a deer in the headlights” of the moment.  You can feel individuation, a sense of yourself free from the influence of Others (people, situation, emotion, ideology). Your inner wisdom guides your responses to life so your choices are not determined by fears of too-much or not-enough contact. You are able to self-regulate your emotions and your relationship decisions for well-being.

    Emotional freedom allows you to maintain integrity, cultivate your own individual identity, and support a strong sense of Self, even in the face of obstacles and frustration. This independence allows you to base your relationship decisions on experiences and emotions that have personal meaning for you, rather than your fears.

    When you are free from the tyranny of unmanageable emotions, you can experience your desires and aversions (as well as Other’s) and not be captured or overwhelmed by the intensity of  experience or emotion. Your mind won’t fixate on thoughts and feelings. Instead, you’ll orient yourself towards honest emotional responses based upon your unique sense of Self, independent of your anxiety or fears about too-much or too-little contact.

    Emotional freedom is a state-of-being that supports interactions to be non-invasive because you don’t impose on Others, and non-abandoning because you respect and acknowledge Others’ feelings and needs. This means you don’t force your opinions upon anyone else. You recognize that your judgments and biases are your own, and accept each person for who they actually are, not for what you want from them, or how you expect them to behave.

     Without emotional freedom, your longings and anxieties will lead you to expect others to be responsible for your happiness. You are more likely to make an ideology or substance (work, T.V., drugs, sex…) a crutch to help get you through the day. Or, you may be captured or even paralyzed by your longings, saying to yourself “If only… (fill in the dots with your favorite longing), then I will feel complete in my life.” 

     It might feel easy to choose sex (love), drugs (work), or Rock ’n Roll(partying)for support, fulfillment, and to ease the anxiety that accompanies stressful aspects of your life. But in the long run always turning away from your inner fears doesn’t work. Relying upon something outside yourself because you are unable or don’t want to provide self-support submerges your emotional freedom.


What happens when I lose my sense of Self?

Do you sometimes...

  • Feel impelled to comply with Others' reality.
  • Feel compelled to resist Others’ reality.
  • Adopt other peoples’ boundaries by attaching yourself to them.
  • Expect others to make your decisions for you.
  • Hide behind a pseudo-independence, one that disappears as you get close to someone.
  • Feel longing accompanied by impending doom.
  • Not express your personal truth because you fear you’ll upset others or look bad.
  • Rely too much upon Others to give meaning & support to your life.
  • Avoid Others out of fear they’ll tell you what to do or how to behave.
  • Make Contact & merge emotionally with someone to gain a sense of secure connection or control.
  • Know exactly what you think & feel to the exclusion of Others.
  • Find it difficult to tell apart your feelings & another’s feelings.
  • Cling to Others out of fear of loss.
  • Withdraw from Others out of fear of rejection.
  • Lose sight of yourself as the author of your own actions or story.
These feelings and actions arise when you have lost your sense of Self. You are not free from the pull of your emotions or from your fears about not-enough or too-much contact.

 

 

 

Boundary in a Box®, LLC

348 North Main Street

Ashland, OR 97520